Haven’t had much of a break in a couple weeks. I helped to bury the second family member in less than a year. First was my dad in February. Then Jack Heisey, a good man and my brother-in-law, died on Sunday, Nov. 22. Lise, Molly and I went back to Pa. for the funeral. Following is the eulogy I gave at his service:
Jack came to our family 30 years ago, when he married my sister Lynn. So I have known him for 30 years, but kind of sporadically, at a safe distance. Lynn and Jack lived in Washington and here, I lived in Indiana and Michigan. A safe enough distance to make some objective observations.
I liked Jack, as I’m sure everyone in this room did too. Jack wasn’t perfect. He had his faults, as we all do. I understand that eBay stock has taken a major dive due to lack of activity since last September. But when all is measured, the positives and the negatives, I would say that the positives far outweigh the negatives.
So how do you measure the worth of a man? One measure is their willingness to serve others. Jack served in many ways. Whether you count his service to the country, doing tours in the Navy and the Air Force, or his service to people, like playing Santa Claus at the AmVets kid’s parties, Jack served.
Another measure of a man is how they face their own mortality. Jack faced his mortality, and faced it well. Jack spent the last days of his life in hospice, but figured out ways to have some fun while he was there. How many hospice patients do you know will hold their breath and lay real, real still, so when the nurse bends down to check for breathing they can go “Boo”? Jack did. Jack may not have laughed at death but he tried to have some fun on the way out the door.
Maybe the most important measure of a man is how he touches the lives of others. Jack touched many lives in many ways. Starting with Lynn, sugar boogar, his wife of 30 years. Or Lee his son.
And not just touching human lives. Nobody could spoil a dog like Jack. I think Nick, his golden retriever, is taking Jack’s death harder than Lynn and Lee. They can understand death and try to make sense of what’s happening. Nick can’t. He just wants to know why his buddy isn’t coming home.
Jack touched many kids’ lives. He loved them, and they loved him. He played Santa, in many ways, doing things like giving rides in a red convertible. How cool it that. He was every kid’s Uncle Jack.
Jack had friends everywhere. Wherever Jack went, he somehow immediately fit in. He was accepted into the gang, and was everyone’s best buddy. I don’t see much Italian heritage in Jack, but while he was just starting to go upstate and build the cabin, he became a fully accepted member of the Renovo, Pa. “Sons of Italy” club. Not sure how a half Choctaw Penn Dutchman from Annville could become a full-fledged Son of Italy, but Jack managed to.
I think the reason why Jack was accepted by many is because he accepted them in return. For all their bumps and bruises, he accepted people as they were, unqualified, no questions asked. This room full of people is a living testimony to the lives he touched. In many more ways than I could ever say. We’re going to end with a traditional parting song and a toast to a good man.
We ended the ceremony with the song “The Parting Glass” and a toast. You had a choice of Tullamore Dew, an Irish whiskey, or apple juice. A lot more whiskey went down than apple juice.
Arthur “Jack” Heisey. August 5, 1945 – November 22, 2015.
Bye, Jack. Here’s to a good man.
Ed's and Lise's Biggish Years 